Dear Friend & Subscriber:
After nearly 36 months of intensive research, the engineering staff at B&B Electronics is proud to announce a brand new technology that will enhance both the jobs and personal lives of engineers everywhere.
In 2005, B&B forged a secret relationship with Lirpa Labs in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania (which is also the home of Phil the Goundhog), a privately funded institute that performs research on Engineers' psychological and emotional problems.
Professor I. Lirpa, director of research at Lirpa Labs, told me in a private conversation that the most serious problem that plagues industrial control engineers is Loneliness and Isolation. He says that while their wives are the ones that complain loudest about it, it's the engineers themselves who really feel it.
"The loneliness and despair are almost overwhelming, and it causes them to retreat into a private world of C Code programming, dark humor, and morose afternoons listening to Depeche Mode albums on their iPods.
"The loneliness and dark humor are bad enough, but it's the shameless indulgence in bad '80s music that really alerted us to the seriousness of this problem," he says.
Looking at my own playlist, I instantly knew he was right. But what got my attention in my conversations with Professor Lirpa was his new research into circuitry that modifies engineers' moods without the use of drugs, psychotherapy or medical marijuana.
Dr. Lirpa showed me a circuit design that forms a psychic connection with the engineer who installs it, creating an emotional bond between the system designer and the control circuit.
It takes advantage of the quantum effect that is generated by crystals and has a powerful mood-lifting effect. In fact, it sometimes creates halos around peoples' heads.
Most people know that lucky crystals worn around the neck can increase golf scores (in fact this truth is proclaimed on a well-known popular infomercial) but what is much less known is the fact that clock crystals in electronic circuitry can have the same effect from afar, if designed properly.
Which means you don't even have to wear them around your neck. They'll work just fine inside a piece of equipment as long as it's mounted on a DIN rail.
This inspired me to investigate this further. Dr. Lirpa helped me code his proprietary formula into one of our RS-485 isolators and I tried it on one of our engineers, Tony.
I did not tell him I was doing it, so it was a blind scientific psychological test.
The very next morning, Tony (who is normally very morose) came walking in the door snapping his fingers, listening to "Walking On Sunshine" by Katrina and the Waves on his shiny new red iPod Shuffle. "No more Depeche Mode for Me!" he announced with a wide grin on his face.
Then during lunch time I saw him talking to Patricia from purchasing and making serious eye contact with her. I knew he'd been admiring her from afar but he'd been afraid to ask her out. Suddenly I could see this burst of confidence was forging new connections for him.
I was SO happy for Tony.
Right then and there, I decided, we HAVE to incorporate this feature into our new DIN Rail Mounted converters and isolators. I couldn't help but smile at the deep irony, that a product which isolates networks from ground loops and the perils of Spring would also set engineers free from their isolation from other people and the love they so desperately need.
I'm still trying to wrap my head around the possibilities. The thousands of engineers whose lives will be immeasurably improved by the vibrations that are put out into the universe by these new products....
We now have "Triple isolated" DIN serial converters/isolators for 232, 485, Fiber: 485DCRi,485OPDRi,232OPDRi, FOSTCDRi
and handy inline isolated serial converters, 4WSD9OTB, 4WSD25OTB.
All of these units incorporate Dr. Lirpa's proprietary universal vibrational, magnetic mood altering circuitry. Including crystals that have been shown in laboratory tests to improve your luck in golf games!
Isolated USB to serial - 1 port version perfect for field service 232, 422, 485.... And if you follow the instructions it will set you free, once and for all, from your sardonic humor and dark outlook on life:
Isolated multiport USB to serial - Good-bye Depeche Mode, Hello Katrina and the Waves!
DIN rail mount isolated USB to serial: Could this unit help you use the Law of Attraction to find the love of your life?
And the classic Isolated PCI cards, 1-4 ports, 232/422/485. Put these in your industrial PC and feel your moods soar into blissful happiness and a spirit of generosity to all the people in your life:
Oh, and by the way, as of today, April 1 the spring catalog is rolling off the presses and will be going into the mail as soon as the ink dries. Watch the mailroom vigilantly so as not to have yours stolen by some lonely, isolated soul who has not yet discovered the B&B solution to love and happiness and community.
Just in time for Spring, I'm celebrating the end of Loneliness and Isolation - with more than 2000 volts of triple isolated protection!
+353 91 792444